Dare to Be Desperate

This post is taken from an article I recently wrote for Prayer Connect magazine.If you aren’t already familiar with Prayer Connect, I hope you will check it out!

Walking in an orchard in the middle of a violent thunderstorm probably wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve ever done. But I needed to connect with God, and I didn’t know how else to do it. My life was falling apart, it seemed. I had recently moved 1,000 miles from the place that had been home for 35 years. I had not found a church. I had not yet made friends. And, after many months of mysterious, alarming neurological symptoms, my husband had just been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.

I had never felt more lonely and scared. And I had never been more desperate for God. But no matter how much I prayed, He seemed silent and far away.

My Bible reading at the time was in the Psalms. I remember being surprised by how raw David’s prayers were when he was hurting. 
“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (13:1–2).  “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest” (22:1–2).  “My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak” (31:10).

Yet David was a man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22). It surprised and encouraged me to realize that apparently God wasn’t offended by David’s desperate honesty.

So one day, while lightning flashed, thunder cracked, winds howled, and rain fell at three inches per hour, I went outside to have a talk with God.

I honestly don’t remember what I talked to Him about. I just know I was raw. As I poured out my heart to God, my tears mingled with the rain and my shouts were drowned out by the thunder and wind.

I returned to the house 45 minutes or so later—my body drenched, my spirit drained. But to my surprise, I felt peaceful. God didn’t strike me dead for shouting at Him though He easily could have done that since I was walking amongst trees in a severe electrical storm! Instead, I sensed God had heard me and drawn near to me. Oddly and inexplicably, I thought He might have even been pleased that I trusted Him with my deep pain.

That day marked a turning point in my prayer life. Until then, my prayers had seldom involved emotion of any kind, let alone unfiltered dread, angst, or hopelessness. Somehow to me, that had seemed inappropriate for prayer. I had come to believe that prayer was supposed to be nice, polite, and controlled. But I have since come to realize that’s not what the Bible teaches.

After that day, I started noticing what God says about praying from a place of desperation. I learned that rather than disapproving of desperate prayers, God encourages them!  

To continue reading this article, go to: http://www.prayerconnect.net/magazine/issue-14—help/desperate


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